How George got his mowing groove back
As most of you probably don't recall, several Earth Day's ago -- that is to say, three years ago, on Earth Day -- we bought a battery-powered lawn mower. It was a gesture to Mother Earth, but also an opportunity to avoid gas-permeated hands. I remember those days fondly.
But, frankly, the old lady doesn't quite cut it anymore (pun intended). I can mow the front and part of the back in one evening, and the rest has to wait until the next night (which is typically not actually the subsequent evening). I happen to have busy evenings so the grass gets longer faster than I'd like it too, particularly when the weather has been as rainy as it's been. So, we come to the second problem of the mower, which is that it doesn't really like cutting long grass.
I mean, it cuts long grass, but it doesn't cut George-long grass. (Some of you may be familiar with the George-hour... the concept is very similar.) And because of this critical deficiency, I made the painful but necessary decision to seek a replacement.
Meet, the Bull. El Toro, the Magnificent.
This beautiful piece of self-propelled machinery galloped across my jungle of a lawn, dragging me behind while indiscriminately gobbling up all the herbage in its path. This was definitely a sight to see. Instead of taking 2+ hours over the course of multiple days, it took me a total of 45 minutes to cut my entire lawn!
I must admit, the decision to replace my Earth-friendly yet cojones-deficient mower with a gas-guzzling grass-eating beast was not an easy one. It took me two years to actually admit I had a problem. I had no choice but to eventually succumb to reality and accept the fact that my needs can only be met at present by the power of combustion. With that acceptance has come a sense of excitement that only comes when a man gets a shiny new toy. For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to mowing my lawn!
But I still hold out hope that one day I can return to friendly energy again, preferably in the form of the Bat Mower!
But, frankly, the old lady doesn't quite cut it anymore (pun intended). I can mow the front and part of the back in one evening, and the rest has to wait until the next night (which is typically not actually the subsequent evening). I happen to have busy evenings so the grass gets longer faster than I'd like it too, particularly when the weather has been as rainy as it's been. So, we come to the second problem of the mower, which is that it doesn't really like cutting long grass.
I mean, it cuts long grass, but it doesn't cut George-long grass. (Some of you may be familiar with the George-hour... the concept is very similar.) And because of this critical deficiency, I made the painful but necessary decision to seek a replacement.
Meet, the Bull. El Toro, the Magnificent.
This beautiful piece of self-propelled machinery galloped across my jungle of a lawn, dragging me behind while indiscriminately gobbling up all the herbage in its path. This was definitely a sight to see. Instead of taking 2+ hours over the course of multiple days, it took me a total of 45 minutes to cut my entire lawn!
I must admit, the decision to replace my Earth-friendly yet cojones-deficient mower with a gas-guzzling grass-eating beast was not an easy one. It took me two years to actually admit I had a problem. I had no choice but to eventually succumb to reality and accept the fact that my needs can only be met at present by the power of combustion. With that acceptance has come a sense of excitement that only comes when a man gets a shiny new toy. For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to mowing my lawn!
But I still hold out hope that one day I can return to friendly energy again, preferably in the form of the Bat Mower!
Jack: The Lovable Allergen
I've had nasal congestion for as long as I can remember. It's just one of those facts that you assume is an unalterable truth, like the fact that people will always add an 'a' or an 'r' to your last name when trying to pronounce it. I used to think I had a cold, 12 months of the year. I find it odd that people don't have boxes of tissue in every room of their houses. But mostly I didn't think about it, because there was no point.
I didn't think about it much until last year. I had started getting a wheeze whenever doing strenuous activities like shoveling snow. I attributed it to the cold weather, but the problem didn't dissipate by spring so I went to my doctor about it. It was at this time I decided to ask about the congestion problem too, as I figured I shouldn't waste a good trip to the doctor. After my appointment I had an inhaler for exercise, an appointment with a nose/ear/throat specialist, and a spot on a waiting list to get on an even more exclusive waiting list to see an allergist.
The inhaler works miracles. I take it before playing sports and I can breathe normally. If I didn't have it, I suspect I would have had to give up such activities, so I'm thankful to modern science.
The specialist had me in for septoplastic surgery within 6 weeks to correct a deviated septum that could be causing my congestion. I was anesthetized for the surgery, which I was told was a success. The post-op was very uncomfortable (apparently I'm a bleeder), and the recovery was just plain awful. My nasal passages were plugged to stop the bleeding, so I had to breathe through my mouth for 2 weeks. Breathe through your mouth for 1 minute and see how dry your mouth gets; now imagine how dry it gets after doing that all night. Rigging a humidifier with some duct work to redirect the moisture at my face didn't work, and neither did sleeping in the bathtub after getting the bathroom extremely humid. The unfortunate result was that I had so many mouth sores I couldn't eat anything that required chewing. As I mentioned, it was a miserable recovery.
The worst part of the experience was the end result: I was no less congested than previously, and possibly even worse off. It was very disheartening.
Okay, so that's the history.
Today, over 1 year later, I finally saw the allergist. I told him about my results with the deviated septum surgery. He told me I should have come seen him first. I restrained myself from attacking him. Actually, let me step back a moment.
For those who have never had an allergy test, here's what they do:
1) Clean the inside of your arms with some sort of alcoholic solution
2) Write a few numbers on your freshly-cleaned arms
3) Take what appears to be a souped-up bingo dabber, dipped in another liquid, and dab your arms beside each of the numbers
4) Find something pointy and jab your arm in each of the little drops of liquid
They then leave you alone for 10 minutes with instructions not to scratch. Of course, the only distraction in the room is a couple of out-dated magazines, and some large medical posters on the wall. If you're going in for one of these tests, make sure to bring a book or a video game.
The allergist finally came to inspect the damage, and immediately pointed at the angry red splotch on my left arm. That, he informed me, was cats. He pointed to a relatively insignificant splotch on my right arm: maybe I was allergic to mold too... but cats were definitely my problem.
Now, the best defense against an allergen is to eliminate it from your environment. He gave me a pamphlet explaining this. I can see how that tactic works well for things like dust mites and maybe even pollen, but Jack isn't exactly easy to move -- there's a lot of inertia there. Of course, I didn't even consider that option, so we went to plan B, which is a nasal spray to help with the congestion.
We then did two respiratory tests to check for asthma. The first test - the standard one - came back negative, just as it had the previous year. But the second and less widely-accepted (nitric oxide) test came back resoundingly positive. And I'm relieved because finally I have an explanation for my wheezing/breathing problems. The asthma too, he suspects is aggravated by (if not caused by) Jack. But I've got a prescription for another inhaler that should eliminate my wheezing.
The allergist seemed genuinely positive that my symptoms would disappear within a few months, and that has me excited. In retrospect, I've had cats for most of my life, so it's empowering to know how much I've been affected by them. Even if the inhaler/nasal spray combo doesn't work, there is one more chance in the form of allergy shots; however, that is a big commitment that I'm hoping to avoid.
I don't plan on eliminating cats from my life, so I'm optimistic that the solution is at hand. But, tonight I'll probably start insisting that Jack sleep at the foot of the bed, instead of beside my chest. Wish me luck.
I didn't think about it much until last year. I had started getting a wheeze whenever doing strenuous activities like shoveling snow. I attributed it to the cold weather, but the problem didn't dissipate by spring so I went to my doctor about it. It was at this time I decided to ask about the congestion problem too, as I figured I shouldn't waste a good trip to the doctor. After my appointment I had an inhaler for exercise, an appointment with a nose/ear/throat specialist, and a spot on a waiting list to get on an even more exclusive waiting list to see an allergist.
The inhaler works miracles. I take it before playing sports and I can breathe normally. If I didn't have it, I suspect I would have had to give up such activities, so I'm thankful to modern science.
The specialist had me in for septoplastic surgery within 6 weeks to correct a deviated septum that could be causing my congestion. I was anesthetized for the surgery, which I was told was a success. The post-op was very uncomfortable (apparently I'm a bleeder), and the recovery was just plain awful. My nasal passages were plugged to stop the bleeding, so I had to breathe through my mouth for 2 weeks. Breathe through your mouth for 1 minute and see how dry your mouth gets; now imagine how dry it gets after doing that all night. Rigging a humidifier with some duct work to redirect the moisture at my face didn't work, and neither did sleeping in the bathtub after getting the bathroom extremely humid. The unfortunate result was that I had so many mouth sores I couldn't eat anything that required chewing. As I mentioned, it was a miserable recovery.
The worst part of the experience was the end result: I was no less congested than previously, and possibly even worse off. It was very disheartening.
Okay, so that's the history.
Today, over 1 year later, I finally saw the allergist. I told him about my results with the deviated septum surgery. He told me I should have come seen him first. I restrained myself from attacking him. Actually, let me step back a moment.
For those who have never had an allergy test, here's what they do:
1) Clean the inside of your arms with some sort of alcoholic solution
2) Write a few numbers on your freshly-cleaned arms
3) Take what appears to be a souped-up bingo dabber, dipped in another liquid, and dab your arms beside each of the numbers
4) Find something pointy and jab your arm in each of the little drops of liquid
They then leave you alone for 10 minutes with instructions not to scratch. Of course, the only distraction in the room is a couple of out-dated magazines, and some large medical posters on the wall. If you're going in for one of these tests, make sure to bring a book or a video game.
The allergist finally came to inspect the damage, and immediately pointed at the angry red splotch on my left arm. That, he informed me, was cats. He pointed to a relatively insignificant splotch on my right arm: maybe I was allergic to mold too... but cats were definitely my problem.Now, the best defense against an allergen is to eliminate it from your environment. He gave me a pamphlet explaining this. I can see how that tactic works well for things like dust mites and maybe even pollen, but Jack isn't exactly easy to move -- there's a lot of inertia there. Of course, I didn't even consider that option, so we went to plan B, which is a nasal spray to help with the congestion.
We then did two respiratory tests to check for asthma. The first test - the standard one - came back negative, just as it had the previous year. But the second and less widely-accepted (nitric oxide) test came back resoundingly positive. And I'm relieved because finally I have an explanation for my wheezing/breathing problems. The asthma too, he suspects is aggravated by (if not caused by) Jack. But I've got a prescription for another inhaler that should eliminate my wheezing.
The allergist seemed genuinely positive that my symptoms would disappear within a few months, and that has me excited. In retrospect, I've had cats for most of my life, so it's empowering to know how much I've been affected by them. Even if the inhaler/nasal spray combo doesn't work, there is one more chance in the form of allergy shots; however, that is a big commitment that I'm hoping to avoid.
I don't plan on eliminating cats from my life, so I'm optimistic that the solution is at hand. But, tonight I'll probably start insisting that Jack sleep at the foot of the bed, instead of beside my chest. Wish me luck.
The Deep South - Pt. 1
Carolyn and I have been back from our road trip to Florida for 1.5 weeks now, so I'm overdue to post something.
We managed to leave on Wednesday night and made it all the way to the disappointingly ordinary city of Erie, Pennsylvania. The following day we stopped in the Steel City - Pittsburgh.
A view of one of the rivers in Pittsburgh (not sure if it's the Allegheny or the Monongahela).
Statues of what I am calling engineers. They look busy.
The destination for Day 2 was New River Gorge, in West Virginia. Carolyn had found out that we could camp there for free. As seems to happen on camping nights, we got there fairly late and had difficulty finding a campsite. We drove through the first of several shanty towns we would encounter on the trip; I would consider them Class D ghost towns, but sorry, we didn't stop to take pictures. I'm sure I could hear a banjo playing in the distance. After driving for hours around unmarked, dirt roads in the middle of seemingly-nowhere, we finally found a spot by the river that had a picnic table and a grill, so we set up for the night. I took some night shots but they were pretty crappy. Here is a sample (not flickr-worthy) that shows we were in a valley.
The next morning, we figured out where we had been camping. Did I mention that we had some wine with dinner the previous night? From cartons!
Anyway, we got up early (around 6ish) to see the bridge in some good morning light. I'm not terribly pleased with my digital photos, but I am hopeful about my film ones that I have yet to process.
Supposedly you can stack two Statues of Liberty plus one Washington Monument beneath that bridge... or perhaps it is one of the former and two of the latter? Try it and let me know!
We managed to leave on Wednesday night and made it all the way to the disappointingly ordinary city of Erie, Pennsylvania. The following day we stopped in the Steel City - Pittsburgh.
A view of one of the rivers in Pittsburgh (not sure if it's the Allegheny or the Monongahela).
Statues of what I am calling engineers. They look busy.
The destination for Day 2 was New River Gorge, in West Virginia. Carolyn had found out that we could camp there for free. As seems to happen on camping nights, we got there fairly late and had difficulty finding a campsite. We drove through the first of several shanty towns we would encounter on the trip; I would consider them Class D ghost towns, but sorry, we didn't stop to take pictures. I'm sure I could hear a banjo playing in the distance. After driving for hours around unmarked, dirt roads in the middle of seemingly-nowhere, we finally found a spot by the river that had a picnic table and a grill, so we set up for the night. I took some night shots but they were pretty crappy. Here is a sample (not flickr-worthy) that shows we were in a valley.
The next morning, we figured out where we had been camping. Did I mention that we had some wine with dinner the previous night? From cartons!
Anyway, we got up early (around 6ish) to see the bridge in some good morning light. I'm not terribly pleased with my digital photos, but I am hopeful about my film ones that I have yet to process.
Supposedly you can stack two Statues of Liberty plus one Washington Monument beneath that bridge... or perhaps it is one of the former and two of the latter? Try it and let me know!
Why my wife is the best...
Coming home from a bad day at work (yes, on a Saturday) I was greeted by the smell of:
- butternut squash soup (made from our home-grown squash)
- edamame salad (very refreshing!)
- chipotle-glazed baked potatoes (spicy!)
- bacon-wrapped chicken breasts stuffed with brie (drool)
And to top it off, we enjoyed dinner with a bottle of St. Urban Riesling from Vineland Estates. What a perfect evening!
- butternut squash soup (made from our home-grown squash)
- edamame salad (very refreshing!)
- chipotle-glazed baked potatoes (spicy!)
- bacon-wrapped chicken breasts stuffed with brie (drool)
And to top it off, we enjoyed dinner with a bottle of St. Urban Riesling from Vineland Estates. What a perfect evening!
