Something I've learned during my week of candy abstinence

I'm never giving up anything again, especially chocolate and candy. I just had a Snickers, and it was delicious. Please continue to support our fine confectionery manufacturers, so they may continue to delight our taste buds as they have ever since they wrapped the first banana in that clever yellow package.

Candy Strike!

Effective immediately, I am swearing off all candy, chocolates, and junk food in general for one week. I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this, but the giant bag of Valentine's Day candies I got at work, and the fact that it is almost empty today, have prompted such a swift and, some may say, harsh action. Please keep me in your thoughts in these troubling times.